2008 | the year that was

2008 has been a very different year for me. It has been a year full of heartaches, full of tears, full of drama. A year of reunions, of stronger family-ties, of new found friends, of deeper relationships, of realizations, of growing up.

With everything that happened to me in 2008, I have two points of realization:

1. Forgiveness. This is what the past year has been about. Despite the fact that people have hurt me, lied to me and took me for granted, in the end, I still learned to forgive them. You know why? Because I, myself have my own imperfections, flaws and shortcomings (I am not perfect. Nobody’s perfect.) I forgive because I didn’t want to feel heavy, I didn’t want to think too much, I didn’t want become a person who’s full of anger in her heart. I don’t want to become a person of bitterness. I wanted to be at peace. You know, when we forgive, its the only way to move forward. but we should also learn that what coincides with forgiveness is sometimes change.

2. Change is inevitable. Forgiveness happens. but some things may change. Rather, things have really changed. I got no one to blame. It’s really hard to make things be like the way it was before. It is like putting back the pieces of a broken glass together, the more you keep on glueing it back, the more it will hurt you. I can’t really do anything about it. Sometimes, its really sad when you think about it, you’ve been in that same habit, same routine or same group for years, then POOF! because of abnormalities and misunderstandings, there’s change. We just have to accept the fact that things will never be the same again. We just have to let go of the feeling of helplessness because of it, in order to be happy and in order to move on.

But despite of the change, some would surely remain the same. Rather, it would change, it would grow deeper. Pag may nawala sayo, may pumapalit o kaya may mas lumalalim.

my favorite quote c/o Dimples: “When mean people hurt you, think of them as sandpapers. They may rub and scratch you painfully, but eventually, you will end up smooth and polished while they end up worthless.” Nasinagot ni Kuya Kaloy —“pero yung sandpaper yung dahilan kung bakit ka naging smooth.. so you have 2 credit that also…” This is one helluva message that always makes me think. Especially, when kuya said that.

That’s why, I want to end the year by saying thank you to all the sandpapers in my life. Thank you for making me smooth and polished as I am now. Without you, I wouldn’t be this Fabulous! haha!

Thank you also to the people who have become my wonderwall. For you’ve been with me through out the year. Thanks because you guys are the reason why I remained standing. I’m pretty sure, I wouldn’t make it without you. You are the reason why I didn’t lose it. Salamat.

special shouts to my wonderwall, those who had a major role in my 2008:
`kuya kaloy | thanks coz you’re the first person na tinakbuhan ko, and you were there. Minsan lang ako nangailangan ng kuya, ng kaibigan and i’m happy kasi di mo ko binalewala. Hindi naman ikaw lang yung friend ko na guy, pero sa lahat, sayo lang ako nakaramdam ng care, ng pagtatanggol. Di man tayo palagi nagkikita, nag-uusap, alam kong nanjan ka, alam mo ding nandito lang ako. You’re the best kuya, the best friend I ever had. Kuya, we will be happy this coming year! lablab!

`jen | for always being there, as in always. Listening to my paulit ulit na rantingS with what’s happening to me, di ka nagsasawa. dibale, ako din naman di nagsasawa- si em mo lang ang nakakasawa, ang sarap batukan. haha. yo, you’ll always be one of my bestfriends you know.. you going here this year (pati ni maian) has been one of the best moments of my 2008, I was super happy when you and mai were here. Sana nga mas matagal pa tayo nagkasama eh. Shempre, kasama na din sa shout na ito ang KKG, i’ll always love you nasan man kayo- yung iba. haha. We gonna have a baby boy next year!

`inah | thanks for listening to me, kasi alam ko ikaw ang isa sa mga girl friends ko na sinabihan ko ng problema ko, simula hanggang katapusan. You know, you’re the best person I’ve met in 2008. its like I’ve known you forever when I just met you this year. Ibang klase mare, iba ang feeling being with you, talking to you. I’m really happy & thankful coz I met you. si roxanne bosch guinoo ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nagkakilala, ang ka lukringan niya kung bakit tayo naging magkaibigan (pinangunahan ni xanne ang ka lukringan natin). Lokaret ka, nag-email ka pala ng nakakaiyak na message sa akin nun Christmas, ngayon ko lang nabasa, di kasi yun yung e-mail na ginagamit ko loka. hahahaha. Ito, ako naman ngayon ang gumagawa ng version ko. Nandito lang ako mare, pag me problema ka, nandito lang ako, wag ka ng magpaligoy ligoy pa, naaalala ko may gusto ka ng sabihin sa akin, di mo pa masabi yung problema mo. haha. And I’m touched whenever you say na you’re super happy kasi magkasama tayo or something. I am too mare. Love you!

`the actresses | for making my every week a memorable one, imagine halos every week tayo magkakasama. pano ko ba naman maiisip ang problema? Happy ako kasi nakilala ko si ate sol and Monic, lalong lumalim ang friendship namin nina Xanne and Pat. Problema ng isa, problema ng lahat. Sabay sabay tayo susulong. Sabay sabay tayo aartetude. Sabay Sabay tayo tatayo at sabay sabay tayo magpapakalukring. Walang babangga sa amin, Dahil Actress kami!

`pam | thanks for listening, being there and also for making me forget my problems dahil sa kalokahan mo. haha. you always make me frustrated because of your kalokahan, pero that’s the way you are, isa ka sa mga totoong taong nakilala ko, to the people na ayaw sayo, damn you, isa kayong malaking tanga for not liking pam, tingnan niyo muna sarili niyo bago niyo tingnan si pam. pinsan, im just here okay. sabay tayo mangookray forever.

`ellai | Ang pinakamatagal ko ng friend, since elementary and choir days, di pa rin nawawala, di pa rin nagbabago. Alam namin nanjan pa rin yung iba, pero iba’t ibang trip na eh, Ewan ko kami ni Ellai di naman parehas ng trip pero nagkakasundo pa rin. Sorry gurl, di natuloy ang date natin. Alam mo na, sick. haha. Dibale, labas pa rin tayo, sana before pasukan, subukan natin. Oh kaya dalawin mo na lang ako. hahaha. Anyway, salamat kasi nanjan ka rin para sa akin, at salamat kasi kahit na nagbago na ang mundo, tayo di pa rin nagbabago.

`pretty friends | Lastly, ang pinakamamahal kong barkada, na palaging nanjan para sa akin, para sa isa’t isa – problema man, kalokahan, kalokohan at kasiyahan– kahit pa halfway around the world si kix, kahit nasa dulo ng luzon si loraine, kahit puro overtime si deo, kahit busy sa thesis si mitch, kahit busy kay A si gael, kahit busy sa jobs niya si seska at lalong lalo na si aimee, busy sa bahay, walang ginagawa haha (budi, majority of the year ito ha) nandito pa rin sila para sa akin, para sa bawat isa. Narealize ko nga sa mga nakaraang buwan, iba talaga ang highschool friends, ibang iba. Ito yung hindi matitibag ng panahon o ng problema. Weird thing is hindi naman kami palagi naguusap or nagkikita, pero iba talaga yung samahan na ito. Tama si mommy nun sinabi niya sa akin na yung highschool friends daw yung group of friends mo na hindi magbabago despite of whatever shit na dumating. It’s really proven sa akin. Siguro, mawala na ang lahat, sila di ko kakayanin pag nawala. Sobra kong mahal itong mga ito eh. Budi— my best friend forever, sa lahat ikaw at si Seskie ang pinaka updated eh, yung dali dali ako pinuntahan, salamat.

Nabasa ko sa napakaraming blogs ng mga tao ang listahan ng mga events of their 2008, hindi ganun ang ginawa ko, dahil hindi naman talaga ganun ang ginagawa ko sa mga nakaraang taon diba. Sa napakarami ng mga nangyari sakin ngayong taon, ayaw ko na alalahanin yung mga yun. Tama na ilagay ko na lang siya sa kahon ng aking mga ala-ala. Di na kailangang halungkatin pa. Ang importante dun, natuto tayo from the things na nagkamali tayo at nasaktan tayo chaka nagpasalamat tayo sa nagbigay kulay sa ating taon.

Salamat muli at Happy 2009!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s