i’m the lucky one

the thames college ball was a blast. again, it’s one of the best nights i ever had. wanna know why? secret. haha. ask niyo si mommie gwetch ko. alam na alam niya yun. wahahahaha!

when i first heard that our school will have a ball, i was so excited because i want to experience this one again. i had my prom, february 2003. in my blue gown and not so nice make up. my make up really f*cked up. my date was my ex. it’s nice that i was with my special someone that night. i was with my most beloved barkada, prettyfriends. but then again, i didn’t enjoyed it that much. it’s not what i expected a prom would be like. it’s not what i dreamt of. i may not be the prom queen or what, but i always dreamt of that night to be so perfect, with my friends, my boyfriend, dancing the night away. HAPPY. yes, we were happy. but i didn’t even experience dancing. he didn’t even ask me to dance. i was waiting for it the whole night. if i remember it right, i asked him if he wanted to dance but i think he didn’t want to. so, that was it. my dream crashed into pieces. My graduation ball, march 2004, was close to perfect. i love my make up. i love my dress. i was with my prettyfriends, even though loraine was absent. we were so happy. i didn’t have a date which is okay with me. even though it was sad because i was supposed to have a date. but then, the day before the ball, he told me that he can’t come for some reason. well, it’s okay even though he ditched me. it didn’t stop me from enjoying the night. it didn’t stop me to be happy with my friends. i was teary eyed at some point because every time my mind would think about the end, that we, my barkada have already graduated, that we’d see less of each other, that three months after that we’d go to separate ways, to different colleges and have new set of friends, i really can’t help but cry. am i being to mushy again? pardon. i just can’t help it. after the ball, we went to mitch’s place and slept there. then we went to our first out of town trip to Tagaytay Highlands. oooh.. reminiscing! 🙂

i had my hair and make up fixed then i went to gretch’s. then, gretch, rap & i went to fernwood garden together. ces, ej & ed were already there. we were the only ones in our group who went. nakakainis.. KJ niyo. ehehe… kay lang, love ko pa din kayo kahit na hindi kayo nagpunta. we ate dinner. bands playing. no alcohol for me that night. dancing and dancing. i even danced with Sir Joel and Sir Ed – the owner of my school and our academic director respectively. i was just so happy. basta. start pa lang hyper na ko. as in todo talaga ako. masayang masaya lang talaga ako. SOBRAH. i’m just so happy. hihi.. kasi naman, yung drugs ko nasa tabi tabi lang. ayan tuloy. after the ball, some went to the after party and some, like us, went home. i’m too tired for that pero when i got home hindi naman ako makatulog agad. hehe.. hay life.

ces slept here. we just did nothing when we woke up, just talked and talked. then, we left at 3 pm. she dropped me off at Mcdo katips to meet her ate to get her allowance while she went home to bring her stuffs there, yes, her luggages from Bohol pa. when she went back, we ate at Shakey’s.

when i arrived my place, i went to my 2nd home. hihi.. all the kids were there. it’s so good to see the four of them. sarap makipaglaro. hehe.. and sinundo nina laiza, liezel at angile si kikay. saya kasi nakita ko ulit sila. ang tagal na ng last ko sila nakita eh.

again, i am in an internet cafe. i just learned that hindi lang pala yung line namin ng PLDT ang sira. almost everyone in our place pala. because may nagnakaw daw ng PLDT lines. pinutol daw at binenta yung wires. grabe. they are so mean. pati ba naman kable ng telepono. hindi man lang nila naiisip yung mga taong magagambala nila tulad ko. hindi ako makapag internet ng matino. sira ulo sila. hehehe.. hay.. bahala na si God sa kanila. karma karma.

grabe pala.. as i remember it right, masaya ang araw ko today because of last night’s. pero bakit kaya two people from my past eh nagparamdam sa akin. coincidence ba yun? grabe naman ang pagkakataon. kailangan sabay pa sila talaga? tama ba naman yun. grabe the first one, ewan ko na lang sa kanya ah. i swore i didn’t do anything bad to them. sinaktan na nila ako. pinag isipan ng masama. pero hindi ko sila nilabanan. kasi wala din namang patutunguhan. i am just me. they are THEY. and i won’t really stoop down to there level. ang kaso, i just proved something. now i know what he really is. hindi ko na kailangang alamin. hindi ko lang matanggap na inisipan niya ako ng ganun despite sa everything na ginawa ko for them. lalo pa’t he knows me that much tapos ganun na lang yun? this is so complicated. pero. POOF. i don’t care anymore. kung ano mang nangyari? duh! wala na yun sa akin. kinalimutan ko na ang lahat. sus. wala naman kwenta eh. ni hindi ko nga nasabi yung about that dito sa blog ko eh. kasi wala ngang kwenta. na brought up ko lang ngayon dahil sa ‘coincidence’ na nangyari. nananahimik naman kasi ako eh. tapos ganun. inalis ko na sila sa system ko before pa nangyari ang lahat ng ito. kaya hindi ko alam bakit pa ito nangyari. WHY ME? diba? Yung second naman eh, sino pa. yung akala kong namatay na. ewan ko ba dun biglang nagparamdam. kinamusta ako. eh hindi naman nakasave yung number niya sa fone ko eh. tinanong ko pa kung sino. haha. sinabi ko nung nalaman ko kung sino siya, sobrang saya ko. wala no comment na siya. hindi na sumagot eh. HAY! ang weird ng buhay. pagka talaga there’s something good happening in my life laging may mga umeepal. ewan ko sa inyo. i’ll just smile those things away.

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